62 Kojak Maybe my pangs for mama were sympathy pains My ex and very good friend Kojak is in Alexandria He's with his mama in a makeshift hospice We had a good chat Oh I should list it here too-- If cognitive behavioral therapy doesn't work so much for you If you've been through something traumatic If you have a high ACE score Here are three types of therapy that might help: EMDR, somatic therapy and internal family systems I told him to remember to look them up when he can't run anymore And he said no because I'm not allowed to leave or die and I'll just have to remind him when he's ready So no pressure Kojak is a marble Palestinian dude with the most perfect butt I have ever seen anywhere ever at any time He has fire colored eyes which match his fire colored beard He switches between being very intelligent, gentle, introspective And being Al Capone He is very, very volatile I am so grateful every day that we broke up and frankly can't really believe we were ever together Or how we got together We met online in an Egyptian chat room When he wanted to meet in real life, my plan was to repel him and any remote possibility of sex or romance So I wore really baggy clothes and didn't brush my hair and didn't put on make up When I turned around in the bookstore and was confronted with ADONIS I said FUCK with my outside voice Thankfully he laughed Kojak has similar issues to Ozzy but he's much smarter and self aware He was so fun And funny I usually feel like a guy in most of my relationships, which I don't mind and sometimes prefer But Kojak made me a girl He put me in his dress shirt Then he ripped it open I remember the satisfying patter of the buttons hitting the floor He carried me over puddles He maneuvered me on the streets with his palm on my back He shielded my eyes if he felt something was too unsavory for my innocent lady brain It made me cackle He felt like a giant muscly umbrella He was very well read with excellent taste in music and film But every now and then I felt like I could see him screaming STELLLAAAAA and it made me shudder So we broke up and stayed friends for over a decade now He's with a Canadian woman and they're probably going to move to Canada when his mama passes I feel like he's going to try to see me if I'm in Alexandria when it happens And I feel like that would be...bad Wouldn't be the first time I cuddle a grief stricken person who wants to have life destroying sex instead |