27 itchy itchy itchy sunburned legs broke skin with the new nails woke up itchy and bleeding muscled out of my umbrella :( cold water in tub and cream but I still want to rip it off and I'm crying now I'm trying to box breathe into not a panic attack and it's not quite working so chamomile and I'll think of a story to tell you Sara without an H from university "You realize we were married" All the shit parts of a marriage "And none of the sex" ... Wait. No. Was she in love with me?! Am I an idiot? Oh my god I'm an idiot And that's too much honey in my chamomile And I'm an iiiidiiioooot She hated everyone I dated I felt like her doll She was a photographer She introduced me to Maru We slept in the same bed for years She cut my hair We went skinny dipping a lot and it was always her idea OH YOU FUUUCKING IIIDIIIOOOOT This is good the cringing is distracting Every memory's worse than the last Burning shame instead of burning legs Oh god I was supposed to kiss her It was a very bad mental health day I was crumbling She took me into a bathroom stall and pulled me onto her lap and hugged me and put her head on my head and I cried into her face I WAS SUPPOSED TO KISS HER FUUUUCK I was horrible So many years And travelling and jail and running away and fuuuuck I kissed Reem in front of her Well to be fair Reem kissed me and she was real iffy about consent back then Oh poor Sara And then I disappeared And then she went to England And then she came back and we had that stupid conversation "And none of the sex" And I LAUGHED I can't type the other stuff it's so mortifying I'm that annoying unbelievably oblivious character in all the mangas Her girlfriend probably wants to murder me Can't argue My legs are better The rest of me not so much I would've hurt her more than I already did Maybe it's good I was an idiot No. No home wrecking thoughts You've done enough asshole Okay you're not an asshole but leave her be Now my ears are too hot What is this summer? |