2 am Day 34 I really am repeating 2018 Teaching online gig, freelancing, old flat and now my stoner neighbor friend caaaallled We shall call him Kosha It was so relieving It's been ages but it felt so familiar and warm and I just exploded with word vomit And he kept up! And laughed in the right places! And then was funny toooo 😠Earlier I tried to call a crisis line network, the numbers didn't work because of course they didn't It made me laugh I scared Ozzy so I told him I'd go out and get donuts and that way I couldn't do anything stupid I wandered into the new grocery store in my neighborhood and made faces at a baby who was completely enthralled Then I got donuts and they picked up on my accent and eagerly switched to English So I switched to English and they were very pleased And I got the last apple cinnamon one And walked out with my coffee when the fluffiest husky that has ever existed decided to love me And licked my cheek and I held his paw and tried not to spill coffee all over his ADORABLE FACE And the cute aggression might have flicked a panic switch somewhere because my heart stopped pounding so hard I booked a free phone consultation with some Australian education agent at 8am my time Hopefully I'll learn a little bit about visas/options and it wont just be a long useless sales pitch for their programs This emotional yoyoing is really taking it out of me I don't regret the coffee or the sugar I'm glad I didn't smoke I just want to wear shorts outside before I'm 40 That's it That's my goal now |