Evening 16
Written @ 9:15 p.m. on 2023-04-01
I'm not an Internet detective
I don't know why I thought I could find that baby
Can't help it
Can't imagine how he feels
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I had a coffee 👀
Tiny voice in my head said "god help us all"
Other voice said "nyamnyamnyam! nyamnyam, nyaaaaam!"
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Maillot candidates:
1) The '50s Tankini. A dusty rose, sweetheart neckline halter top with a dark floral print, high waist, booty hugging bottom
Pros: flattering for curvy bodies, can wear my big hat and big sunglasses and big shoes, perfect for lounging, my aunt will gasp and clap
Cons: I do laps like I'm possessed, the halter knot will hurt or come undone, my tits will fall out, when I tan I'll have one tiny brown belt line around my waist, baba will attack me with beach towels and keep trying to smuggle me into the car like I'm being hunted by paparazzi (maybe that's a pro, old man cardio, his grandkids will be happy)
2) The Tiny Tennis Dress. Booty short, tennis dress maillot top combo for the agnostic Arab girlies between burqini and bikini. Chic black one with small gold belt that has an S on it.
Pros: My aunt will clap because she loves me even if I wear a bag on my head. Easy to swim in, same tan lines as a one piece. Don't need a cover up to go to the shop, just shake like a dog and put on flip-flops. Baba's eye will twitch but he won't flying squirrel jump with a towel.
Cons: Bit boring. Aunt will not gasp. Black. I like colors. I like patterns. Nothing neeew, just elevated version of the navy blue one.
3) The Gymnast. Long sleeves. High leg bottoms a la 90s baywatch. Ass very much exposed. Many trendy colors and patterns.
Pros: Look at me I'm a model.
Cons: Every year I convince myself that I can do the trendy suits. I hate sleeves, so much drag when I swim. Under booty exposure is what I seek, however sand in crack level exposure...not so much.
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I refuse to get sucked into Facebook.
I REFUSE.
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