Bicycle carriers and hypocrisy, harry potter and the pyramid of maslow, university challenge and fucking woowoo crystals Bicycle carriers are finicky to attach to cars and can be stolen. I know it's stupid to drive somewhere so I can bike. It's how things work where I live. It's stupid where I live. It's probably stupid where you live too (unless you're Danish, reading this in your lovely hygge candlelit bubble of fluffy warm alcohol belly chocolate baked numnum cuddle purring...adopt me, please) Where I live, the people who I like...er, the people who I don't dislike-- who make sense, are ultimately just champagne socialists like me but possibly less ashamed of it? I feel like shame is an unforgivable emotion to have now. They tend to be sad or angry or in denial. Well, the loud ones. I suppose the others are too busy drowning in ignominy to hashtag. I like the others. I dream about accidentally finding them in a bookstore and hugging and silently crying together on each other's bobbing shoulders. I don't understand how people who have had trouble making it up Maslow's pyramid of needs have succeeded in monetizing the climb. I'm worried that for someone like me (nerdy, melodramatic, weeping flotsam in the sea of feels) to understand, a part of my brain will have to die and I'll end up being some kind of twitchy broken hearted arsonist. I need a missing link who can withstand the power of that dark knowledge. I actually have a missing link. She's super cute. My best friend was upset that Pottermore said she was Slytherin. I tried to convince her that she, like Draco Malfoy, will save the day (or at least, me) for the reasons outlined above. She didn't buy it but appreciated my faith in her. It's easy and a welcome respite to believe in her. I don't have much faith in anyone or anything else. I don't think anyone really feels outrage anymore. I think we just have fashionable topics of conversation. We display tweet sized concern before moving onto the next and lower low in the rabbit hole of degeneracy. And then Gwyneth Paltrow goop-heads and all the other forms of snake oil peddlers say they know how to fill the void I find more comfort in marveling slack jawed at the beautiful (increasingly diverse! yay!) minds on university challenge for half an hour than your woowoo crystals/totes spiritual swag/experience in India will ever provide me And also, confused white woman (it's always a confused white woman), please know that every time you talk about energy, crystals and Eastern medicine--I imagine you rubbing your head like Marlon Brando while explaining how dignified you find the noble savages who have made you their god We have hospitals and anxiety here too damn it |