don't hurt the grandmother holding a baby holding a kitten I never thought I'd say the following in all earnestness And not as a result of a break up or facial disfigurement I say this as a once smoker current non smoker with savings, some of which I earned As someone who turned down a perfectly charming and attractive person because it was a long drive-- and changing into pyjamas is an irreversible decision As someone who wrote almost a decade of twee vomit on this site: Man Man is... I don't know the word for the pig squeals and graphic flashes of unspeakble evil in my head Man is that Woman All of us Well maybe not the people in between (does anyone identify as genderless asexual cactus life?) Just anyone who at any point wants to have sex You are fundamentally fucked up Anyone who wants to have sex To have sex and be enlightened about it or destroyed by it (but especially enlightened) To want to have sex and acknowledge it or bury it and kill kill kill To stimulate nerve endings in places (most of) you are ashamed of or really, really should be And to risk making a person and sometimes even on purpose trying to make an actual person To scroll through online legacies or palpitate over coffee To crush spirits in that special intimate way I've had brushes with death and nothing, none of it compares with the horror I can't unsee from interacting with married people and slutty people and everyone who wants to have or has sex I never thought I'd be grateful for my terrible taste and lack of coping skills Is marriage like giving birth? Everyone glosses over the pooping on the bed and hole snipping part until it's moot because you're going to face all of it imminently I am also grateful for my profound laziness and deep well of apathy Sex isn't overrated, it's great It might even be underrated Yeah Man cant handle it Woman All of us Everybody should be a little terrified of it always Like driving Never get too comfy That's when you run over a grandmother holding a baby holding a kitten I have this insane notion that it's easier if you have sex with someone you love And that if you're struggling to keep up with where the STDs are coming and going then maybe you should keep your pants on It doesn't matter There is one person on this planet I want to sleep with And he isn't the guy I'm dating or the guy I'm supposed to be dating And there is nobody I want to marry |