Selfish One of my first therapy sessions involved a woman delineating the concepts "selfish" and "self oriented" with me At that time I had what I now know is a common personality type People who are overly submissive, who identify themselves with roles in relation to others -- the wife, the father, the friend, the job It was a very helpful conversation to me and I'll always appreciate it It was the beginning of learning to love myself and learning how that makes me in a better position to love others Which is why I'm especially dismayed when I see that same rhetoric being twisted The delineation's been completely erased and now I see advice that is basically an Ayn Rand wet dream "Be self oriented" has become "be selfish" They still say "Love yourself" but in action, it's become "worship yourself" And a complete absence of feeling is celebrated because it's an absence of sadness There is a difference I can't tell you what it is And where to draw your line But I can tell you to draw one Be kind, but don't be a doormat. Love yourself, but please don't be selfish. |