if i were honest if i were drunk nobody's around to applaud the subtle recovery i think i'm only graceful when i realize i'm falling or when i'm twisting sounds around my tongue that correspond to unsung histories and i never can believe that you really want me, that you really want me, that you want me when i'm not trying i know i ought to try but i wish i didn't feel like i had to i wish i weren't afraid of being alone with no one to blame but myself and that might be why i'm tired to invite someone new my hair's already tangled to the fullest with people i can't bear not to be tied to me my heads already heavy under piled up loving responsibilities and i don't want to lose even though what i've won i feel i've cheated from someone else someone who deserves to be spoiled silly with consistent concern and patient soft voices and have some part of their skin touched whenever they're sad because i could be okay and go without and not feel abandoned i could keep busy not everyone could not everyone finds the little things as distracting |