and most of all the ghost I don't want to be in any kind of bubble, no matter how beautiful. Whatever the consequences of honesty, I'll take them without childish thoughts of blame or fault. And I'm not going to think about worth. And I'm not going to call time mine. Besides difficult friendly conversations with friendless creatures-- I had rum in the dark with M and rescued K from a blind date gone wrong. I looked over antiques decorated with dust. I looked for a book that wasn't there. And most of all, I was overheard by the ghost and felt 18 again. The ghost is this interesting, attractive gray haired, gray eyed foreign man who I always (well since i first moved here) saw at university and so many places I frequented--always alone, always reading, always not so subtly overhearing my conversations and occasionally letting slip a short breathy laugh whenever we made jokes. My friend named him the ghost, I think because she found him creepy initially. I always liked him. Whenever I see him around I feel like I'm somewhere I ought to be. I haven't seen him in years-- it was good to see him today. And I'm glad he sat next to me, and I'm glad he still thinks I'm funny. If I ever bump into him when I'm alone I'll scare his hair black and say hi. |