sagacious gender and relationship Q&A
*flaccid pepe dance* point taken. --- *holding baby jumpsuit* oh GOD it's so TINY i want to DIE, I WANT TO BURN IT, I WANT TO BURN THIS WHOLE SECTION IT'S SO !@#$ING CUTE i have a frog in my throat me too, i think i'm going to cry is it weird that we're crying in the middle of a baby clothes store? yes. this is weird, and we are weird. i think we're scaring the shop keepers. i think we aren't the first or last weepy women with empty uteri to purchase baby clothes in their store. *staring teary eyed at shopkeepers direction* you're probably right--OH GOD it's a baby bathrobe !@#$ --- honey, why do women always pose with one shoulder shrugged up next to their face? shoulders don't get fat. --- what's marriage like? awkward stuff happens like what? sometimes we walk in on each other eating junk food alone, like, with our hands and with sounds. then there's silence when our eyes meet. --- YOU MAKE ME INSANE, YOU PUSH ME TO THE VERY EDGE AND WHEN I THINK I CAN'T TAKE ANYMORE YOU SHOVE ME AGAIN. ...but i'll love you and feed you and cuddle you all the time and organize and paint the walls and put air freshener everywhere so, let me get this straight, you will -by your own admission- continue to torture me, but in a house that looks pretty and smells nice and with occasional displays of affection? yes. i'm okay with this. why am i okay with this? --- should i delete that stalker girl on facebook? no. allow her to look at your wall, respond to every single status with 'LOOOOL' and twist everything you're saying into a secret confession of love towards her. wait for this to develop into a mark david chapman-worthy fervor. then when she's at your door with a twitchy eye and some sort of stabby item, explain to her how you don't really like her at all and how you refer to her as 'the stalker' to your friends. so, no then? --- does it feel spiritual? no. does it feel different? yes. does it feel better? probably. what does it FEEL like? it's strange. i can't see but i see blinding flashes of color and everything goes quiet and everything explodes and tenses up and relaxes at the same time and it's the only time my brain turns off. okay...but what does it FEEL like? --- |