Gigi and Koki help me say goodbye
i'm still scared, i might even be more scared than i was before but for the first time in my life the fear is inconsequential because i know what i have to live for and i don't mind saying 'have to' anymore and i don't mind being obliged to do anything nothing feels magical and that got me thinking about destiny destiny isn't a fairytale at all for all the fighting and living by these merciless ideals that were never mine to begin with-- this-- right now, which i never planned, which i never dreamt of this is what's meant to be and there isn't any tickly feeling of encouragement or nod from a friend that tells me so. to say that it's a feeling is like saying i know i'm here because i see myself in the mirror. i know i'm here because i'm here. i feel it's right because it's right. you don't have to force the moments because you feel you're running out of time. you don't make a legacy-- a legacy is made for you by the people that recognize you when you're long gone. and people are not projects for you to save while you ignore saving yourself because you can't imagine that you're anything less than right about everything, all the time. this is me letting go of the last hold you had on me, this is me no longer missing you--not even a little bit |